Oh my goodness I can't believe there is going to be a new baby. How much fun! Wow. I am shocked. :) I can't wait. Thankfully I will be here for all the other babies that are born into our family. I am so thankful for everyone who is supporting me.
So can I just say developing humility has been one of the best things for me. It has made a lot happier. I am more able to let go of the dumb things that bother me. I feel so much more love in my heart for everyone around me. I am so thankful I have companion who is so patient with me as I am learning and changing and growing. Repentance is a beautiful thing. It is a quiet miracle that happens in our heart. I am even more thankful when the people are understanding and forgiving of me. Honestly it is such a precious gift to forgive the people who are around us. I have been trying to be quick to forgive meaning only second after something has happened. It makes the biggest difference when we are quick to forgive those who have hurt us. And more often than not we choose to be offended. Cause if we really take a step back we realize that we are in the wrong and not right. I have also realized humility is something you constantly work at. If you aren't then you digress. There is no standing still. Its a constant progression forward. Sister Schwartz a sister at the visitor center has been helping me out. We both talk about how we need to get rid of our pride and the wolves inside of us. If you have watched 17 miracles you'll know what I talk about when I say the wolves. Any way if not just ask me. :)
This week has been awesome. There is a 16 year old girl that referred herself and she wants to be baptized. She can't wait. She started to read the Book of Mormon before we started meeting with her. She is so sweet and has such sincere desires to change. I loved how in her last prayer she thanked Heavenly Father for the sisters who are helping her because she is a lost puppy. But she isn't, she has been found. The Lord is watching out for us.
I had another miracle this past week. Elder Furr my district leader asked me to play the piano for him. He asked if I would learn hymn165 Abide with Me. Let me tell you that I don't play the piano very well or learn songs very fast either. I was glad that he asked but I had to learn it fast. He kept trying to find other people to play for him but couldn't find any one. At first when I was starting to play it sounded awful. I was thinking what on earth was I thinking that I could play this song. I prayed. I said to Heavenly Father I don't know how to play this song. My time is limited in learning this song. I hardly ever practice and when people sing it throws me off. I acknowledged that I was nothing without my Heavenly Father and asked if He would make up for what I lacked in. So instead of doing my hair or relaxing at lunch I was practicing. I only had a couple of days to learn the song. I kept playing it over and over and I finally got it. Only was it through the power of God that I was able to play this song. Heavenly Father worked a miracle in me. I also realized that I needed to have faith in myself that I could actually do it. That was probably the hardest part was having faith in myself to do it. I know God can do anything and He has the power to help me. I had to rely on him for every little thing. I had to be very specific in my prayers in asking for help. I share this experience with you all because I know the power of God can work miracles in you to. Whatever it may be. The Lord can strengthen us and help us to do the impossible. As we have faith in Him, He will give us the power in which we need.
Elder Furr is a funny elder. He always tells me that I look like Julia Roberts or Jean off X-Men. I just laughed when he told me that.
I can't believe my days are numbered. I don't count months any more.
Sister Javed cracks me up. I love her so much. We were walking in an apartment complex and there was a guy passing by us. He had head phones in his ears. We said hello and got no response. Then Sister Javed yelled out, "HELLO!" It was so funny. He still ignored us. Sister Javed my Pakistani companion says, "He ignored Jesus Christ, my friend." I just love listening to her talk. Every night that we go to bed she sings me songs in Urdu. I love hearing her sing songs. She is so sweet and so kind.
I met another guy in the visitor center. He is 22 years old. He is struggling to have a relationship with God. He has been a life long member. He just feels that God is so far away and has not answered his prayers. He has thoughts of committing suicide because of the struggle that he has with wanting a relationship with God. When you read this you think, why hasn't he felt an answer. Why hasn't God revealed it to him? You think wouldn't God do more. But when we have doubt and fear it diminishes our faith. Faith and Fear/Doubt cannot coexist. If we have sins in our lives that takes away our faith too. But he is still trying. He is reading the Book of Mormon with the question in mind "God do you love me?" As I shared different scriptures with him, he began to cry. He began to feel the love of God for Him. He still isn't sure whether or not its true. But if we don't believe in God, we miss out on our answers. We look beyond the mark. He said you know the last time I saw you, you shared Alma 34:40-41. He said you quoted a scripture out of my patriarchal blessing. He thought it was a mere coincidence. But it was not. It was our loving Heavenly Father manifesting to Him through His servant that he was loved. How on earth could I have known what was in His patriarchal blessing except the spirit inspired me. Even then when I shared the scripture I felt weird sharing it because here he is having a hard time and I am sharing scripture that is telling him to be patient. I know God is aware of this guy. I am lucky to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. The spirit works miracles inside of us each day if we will listen with our ears and most importantly with our hearts.
I love you. I miss you a lot.