|Sister Kranendonk with little Kayla. She is the cutest little girl. I love her bright smile. She always calls us Angel Girls. We are outside waiting for our mission president to interview Jacki her mom.|
|Silly sister missionaries. . . funny faces are for kids.:)|
So this past week has been really really wet. :) Thankfully I have a car and not riding bikes. Because having a wet patootie all day long is not fun. Let me tell ya... :) Although yesterday morning I finally had to jump in puddles. So on our way back from exercising I had to enjoy stomping in the puddles. It felt very refreshing. Any way that is not what this email is about. :)
Things have been crazy this past week. I was definitely stressed to the max to the point I felt like shutting down. I was overwhelmed and not happy. The Kumars canceled on us. So we won't be going back there. I feel like I have lost dear dear friends. But yet there isn't much I can do as a missionary because that is not my purpose. I am sure they will want to hear from me when I go home. But I don't know what to do. The Lord is aware of everyone. I know this.
Also things have been crazy with Jacki. We haven't seen her for almost for a week. Since we had to postpone her baptism she is not happy with us. At least that is how I feel. She cancels every appointment we have set up with her. Its so frustrating because we do so much for her and yet it feels like she is throwing it all away. I hate the unknown sometimes. But I realize I just don't understand the whole picture and that I have to trust that the Lord is going to take care of it. I want His will to be done more than anything. I have seen that happen this week. Its the reason why Jacki did not get baptized. I am so invested in Jacki that it hurts.
I understand a bit of a taste when the prophets in the Book of Mormon sorrowed over the loss of their people. Because they desired the eternal welfare and when they refused it, destruction happened. Destruction is not happening here in Mesa Arizona. But it is all good. I am being dramatic I feel. Since I have been feeling down, I was thinking to myself what can I do to rejuvenate myself. I have only a month and a half left and I want to finish out strong. Just as I was thinking the words popped into my head... THE ATONEMENT OF JESUS CHRIST. This is exactly what I need. This is the only way I can truly feel rejuvenated. Christ will do it for me. He will lift my burdens. I know that He can heal me and make me better than what I was before. Why do I always rely on myself? I think I rely on God but I don't because here I was looking to myself for what I could do. What I really need to be doing is looking to Christ. He knows me better than any one else. He knows what I have need of. Its time to spend more time on my knees.
As I was thinking, I also realized I needed to forget myself. Last night we had an amazing lesson in teaching a little family about the purpose and importance of the Book of Mormon. I know that as I shared my testimony and taught I felt better. I wasn't thinking about myself. I was thinking about the family and how they can see a need for the Book of Mormon.
There was one night this past week that we had a lesson with a lady named Maggie. She ended up canceling the lesson. As we got into the car, we sang Onward Christian Soldiers marching as to ward. It helped us to be happy. We were feeling frustrated at first because the last ten appointments we made had all canceled in the last couple of days so to have another one was hard. But we just sing hymns and keep doing what God wants us to do. This is a time to show God that we love Him through our diligence, obedience and faithfulness. I need to let faith be my guide in my life. We are happy and doing great. Sorry I sound so negative but I am happy because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful to be a missionary. I am thankful to be where I am at. I love the work and I love God. I love you all. Take care.